Feb 05 2010
Sharing infertility stories
Sharing your infertility stories can really help you deal with things because working through infertility can seem like a very lonely journey. It’s not difficult to see who isn’t battling with infertility – from the tricycle left on the front lawn to the ‘baby on board’ sticker in the back window – the signs are all there. It’s much harder to spot the difference between a couple who are waiting a while before they start trying for kids and a couple who would desperately love to have a baby but just can’t seem to make it happen. Previously (as in prior to the world wide web) you could only find support groups where you could share your infertility stories in big cities. Moerover, childlessness was perceived as socially unacceptable and even shameful. Because of the increased accessibility of the Internet you can now have both a real life support group and a cyber support group, and you’ll be able to appreciate just how common infertility is.
There are lots of sites where you can read infertility stories – and it seems as though there are stories about every different kind of infertility. Every situation is represented – multiple miscarriages, IVF and other similar treatments, donated womb, eggs or sperm (or all three!), adoptions and multiple births are all covered. You will definitely find a story at least a little bit similar to your situation! My favorite one was about a woman who experienced early menopause but was able to conceive because her identical twin gave her an ovary! It’s the ideal match! Identical DNA means the eggs are essentially identical to what she would have had anyway, and it also means that her body wouldn’t reject the ovary! I know that it can mean a chance of earlier menopause for the twin who gave her ovary, but if I recall correctly, she had finished having children so she was delighted to help! It’s those stories that really get me going.
On the other hand, I’m not convinced that reading or listening to a stack of infertility stories is always helpful. You may get depressed hearing a whole heap of happily-ever-after stories where you don’t seem to be having any good news at all, although to be fair the stories could also encourage you. I feel it’s best to strike a balance between real-life counseling and relating infertility stories through cyberspace. If there are no infertility support groups in your district, why not begin one? Other couples in the area could benefit from having a place to relate their infertility stories. Your GP might be able to refer couples to you if you aren’t already familiar with other couples struggling with infertility. You don’t have to be a certified counselor; all you need is a shoulder and an ear – an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on, and maybe a teapot too.
It is really important to be able to share your infertility stories, and to listen to the stories of other couples too. As I said previously, perhaps you should consider of creating one yourself. Relating your infertility stories and knowing that you aren’t alone could go a long way to helping you manange.
Here is more information on Infertility Stress. Here is a website with a free mini-course dedicated to Infertility.
